For good health, it is important to be in balance with your environment. This not only applies to food, exercise and rest, but certainly also to the contact we have with the people around us. Communication plays a major role in this.
The book Non-Violent Communication is a valuable tool for this. It has helped me enormously to better understand what I'm feeling and how to translate that into what I need. In addition, it offers many examples of how to communicate about this in an open and constructive way.
The book has brought me a lot and I hope it helps you too. In short, it's definitely worth reading.
Don't decipher yourself
It starts with not deciphering yourself. But what does that actually mean?
What I mean by this is that a feeling you experience may also be there. Repressing or denying feelings often causes you to partially shut yourself out. This can lead to frustration, anger or uncertainty. And as you can imagine, that doesn't help you communicate clearly and calmly in a conversation or discussion.
By giving space to what you're feeling, you're acknowledging yourself. This is an important first step in healthy communication.
Feeling, thinking and communicating
After recognizing and acknowledging a feeling, the book asks a follow-up question: what does this feeling mean to me?
According to the authors, feelings are linked to universal basic needs, such as safety, autonomy (independence), rest and connection. Just becoming aware of your feelings and the underlying needs can provide a lot of relaxation. This lets yourself know that you are allowed to be there and that your needs matter.
The next step is to do something with this: expressing what you feel and need, or making another choice that suits you better.
The purpose of nonviolent communication
The book's author, Marshall Rosenberg, insists that nonviolent communication is not meant to get you want or win an argument. The goal is connection.
The video below briefly reviews the book (in English):
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